Good Things Come to Those Who Wait…

Today has a lot of list items… I did that because they're all basically the same. Well, the same in two different categories. :) Either way, I believe I've talked about all of them previously. Anyway, here they are:

Wish good things would happen to them.
Believe good things never will happen.
Believe they don't deserve good things and happiness.

Wish others would like and love them.
Believe other people couldn't possibly like and love them.
Try to prove they're good enough for other people.
Settle for being needed.

I really like doing this and writing about these things because I feel like I finally get them out of my system. At the same time, I hate doing it because I feel like all I do is complain. I actually have a pretty decent life. It's not all dreary and doom. But then any little thing happens and I'm reminded that nothing good ever happens to me. I'm a horrible person and don't even deserve good things, so it's pretty logical that nothing good would happen… but I sure wish I was worth having something good happen.

I just get so frustrated with everything. I watch other people and see them getting the great blessings I had hoped for… and I'm just on the sidelines wishing I could be good enough to deserve that stuff. Does that mean I'm coveting my neighbor? What does covet even mean? Merriam-Webster says:

covet

: to wish for earnestly
: to desire (what belongs to another) inordinately or culpably
: to feel inordinate desire for what belongs to another

Yeah… I guess I'm breaking that commandment pretty much every day… It reminds me of that quote, "Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it." I always thought… When!?!? :)

The blessings I mean are; all through my 20's I only wanted to be married. I watched everyone else get it. I was 32 when I finally got married! Now, all my friends my age have kids that are 15 years old. I probably won't even get to have kids. And I'm getting older and keep thinking, do I really even want them?? Sorry, this went a total different direction than I had intended. Guess it was on my mind. :) Someday things will work out the way I want them. Until then, guess I just have to wait.

B