Mind Twister

I think I've mentioned that I've started reading a new book. This one is called, "Fat is a Family Affair". It's quite interesting so far. I've been meaning to sit down and actually act like I'm studying it, but my days have ended up getting away from me. I was reading it last night and came upon a passage that was awesome. Since my book isn't with me, this isn't verbatim, but it's found on page 32. It basically says that once you realize that eating makes you neither good nor bad, but for survival, you'll be able to stop letting it control you. The funny thing is, until I read this, I never realized I labeled food as making ME good or bad. But I do. I even caught myself doing it this morning, EVEN THOUGH I JUST READ ABOUT IT!

I usually have oatmeal for breakfast because I can prepare it at work, I need nothing more than water and a microwave, it'll help with my cholesterol, and I happen to like it. While preparing it today, I caught myself thinking about how good I was being. Then I starting thinking about what the book said. I have a way to liken it unto something. If you've seen the movie The Matrix, there is a scene where a little child tells Neo that he needs to stop trying to bend the spoon, but realize that there is no spoon in order to bend it. THAT'S WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE!!! Haha!

I feel like I understand the concept, but at the exact same time, I can't wrap my brain around it. There's food that is "good" and "bad", but whether I eat them or not does not make ME good or bad. It may be a bad choice to eat it, but I am not a bad person if I eat it.

This is one of those concepts I just stare into space and think about. It's such an interesting topic. I'm getting excited though, because I feel like I'm in my next step of recovery. Maybe someday soon I'll be a healthy weight! :)

B